


High As A Kite

by Clarrisani



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29481348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clarrisani/pseuds/Clarrisani
Summary: Misha calls Jensen on Valentine's Day while high on his pain meds.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Danneel Harris, Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins, Misha Collins/Vicki Vantoch
Comments: 3
Kudos: 72





	High As A Kite

Jensen frowned as his phone began to ring, Danneel looking over at him. He retrieved it from his pocket and glanced at the caller id, his eyebrows rising. Danneel gave him a questioning look, Jensen mouthing ‘Misha’ to her. She nodded and returned to what she was doing as Jensen hit the receive button.

“Hey Mish.”

“Hey baby,” Misha purred. “Did you hear? We’re getting married!”

“Okay,” Jensen said, looking at Danneel and shaking his head. “Where did you hear this?”

“It’s all over Twitter,” Misha said. “We’re trending, handsome!”

“You mean the Dean/Cas wedding thing,” Jensen said.

“It’s amazing!” Misha said. “They love us so much!”

Jensen listened to the infliction in his voice, hearing the different emotions rolling through it. He sighed. “You’re stoned out of your skull, aren’t you?”

Danneel laughed.

“These pain meds are awesome,” Misha confirmed.

“How did Vicki let you have your phone?” Jensen asked. “I thought she was confiscating it.”

Misha blew him off. “I know all her hiding places.”

“Which means you got out of your chair,” Jensen chastised.

“I’m bored,” Misha moaned. “Twitter is such fun.”

“Right.” Jensen settled into his seat, feeling his dad voice slip on. “You’re supposed to be resting and not allowed to tweet anything.”

“You’re not my father,” Misha said. “Although if you want me to call you ‘daddy’…”

“Please don’t,” Jensen said. “Mish…”

“You have a really sexy voice, you know that?” Misha said. “I like it when you growl.”

“Dear Lord,” Jensen rubbed his eyes, seeing Danneel watching him and laughing. “We are not having phone sex, Mish.”

“Why not?” Misha asked. “I promise I’ll make it good.”

“I know you would, but we’re not doing this in the middle of the day while you’re tripping on pain medication.”

“Who knows, it might make the pain go away.”

“Or it will make it worse,” Jensen said.

“Could you at least tell me what you’re wearing?” Misha asked. “Or not wearing. The latter would be preferable.”

“We’re not doing this,” Jensen said, giving JJ a smile as she walked through the room to show something to Danneel. He lowered his voice. “The kids are around.”

“So?” Misha said.

“No,” Jensen said. “You’ll thank me later.”

“You’re no fun,” Misha said. “Oh wow! I just found a Tumblr post that makes it look like we’re having honeymoon sex! It’s so hot! I’ll have to send you the link.”

“You know I’m not into that stuff, Mish,” Jensen said. “Just let the fans have their fun and _do not_ comment on it.”

“Why not? Chad gets to comment on it.”

“Chad said he was going to keep things strictly Destiel free,” Jensen said.

Misha laughed.

Jensen frowned at the phone. “What’s so funny?”

“You said ‘Destiel’,” Misha said.

“That is what it’s called,” Jensen said. “What are you doing looking up that stuff anyway?”

“I told you – I’m bored,” Misha said. “Vicki won’t let me do anything.”

“That’s because you’re not supposed to be doing anything,” Jensen reminded him. “You just had hip surgery. You’re supposed to be resting.”

“Stop being such a worry wort,” Misha accused. “I’m sitting down.”

“You already admitted you went looking for your phone.”

“I didn’t have to look far!” Misha said. “Besides, you weren’t on Skype.”

“That’s because I’m spending Valentine’s Day with my family.”

“Speaking of Valentine’s Day,” Misha said, “I love you so much my cuddly teddy bear!”

“For fuck’s sake,” Jensen muttered under his breath, rubbing his eyes again. “Why?”

“I saw Dee’s video and photo,” Misha said. “You look so huggable.”

“Uh-huh.” Jensen could see Danneel watching him and rolled his eyes at her, earning him a smile. “Could you not call me that please.”

“But you do!” Misha said. “I just want to run my hands through your hair and kiss you all over.”

“Right. Okay.” Jensen covered the mouthpiece. “He’s completely stoned,” he told Danneel.

“Put it on speaker,” she said.

He shook his head vigorously. “Bad idea.”

She pouted.

“Where’s Vicki now?” Jensen asked Misha.

“Took the kids for a walk,” Misha said. “I’ve got this big house all to myself. If you were here I’d be sucking your-“

“Yes, Mish, I know,” Jensen cut him off.

“No you don’t know,” Misha said. “I’d suck your-“

“Mish!”

“Jens!” Misha said. “Asshole, Jensen. I’d suck your-“

Jensen groaned, squeezing his eyes closed. He heard Danneel chuckle as she finished what she was doing with JJ and sent her to play with the twins.

“You can’t just say that!” Jensen said, feeling his face burning.

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Misha said. “And after I did that I’ll-“

“Mish, stop!” Jensen said. “It’s the middle of the freaking day.”

“There’s no such thing as a time limit,” Misha said. He paused. “Oh wow.”

Jensen was almost afraid to ask. “What is it now?”

“There’s fan art of us cutting a cake.” He heard Misha’s voice break. “It’s so beautiful.”

“You’re not going to start crying, are you?” Jensen asked.

“But it’s so lovely,” Misha said. “All the art is so lovely.”

“It’s art, Mish. It’s not real.” Jensen reminded him.

“But it could be real,” Misha said.

Jensen sighed. “I’m not marrying you, Misha.”

Danneel laughed again.

“You didn’t even let me ask!” Misha protested.

“I’m sure Vicki would be thrilled to hear you even suggest it,” Jensen said.

“Polycule for life!” Misha said.

“Ah-hah.” Jensen shook his head again. “Not legal, Mish. Definitely not legal.”

“Fuck the world,” Misha said. “I do what I want.”

“And don’t we know it,” Jensen said. “Was there actually a reason for this call?”

“To tell you we’re getting married!” Misha said. “That and I’m horny.”

“What do you expect me to do about it?” Jensen asked. “We’re in two different states.”

He heard Misha growl. “Talk dirty to me, baby.”

“That is not going to happen,” Jensen said.

Misha whined.

Jensen checked his watch. “It is four o’clock in the afternoon and the kids are up.”

“Just send them out of the room.”

“You’re unbelievable,” Jensen shook his head again. “Forget it. It’s not happening. Especially not when you’re meant to be resting, and you’re as high as a kite.”

“You’re a party pooper, you know that?” Misha said. “Put Dee on. I bet she will.”

“No, she won’t.” Jensen said.

Danneel looked at him questioningly.

“He wants phone sex,” Jensen told her, hand over the receiver.

“Right now?” She asked.

Jensen nodded.

“Wow,” she said, shaking her head and staring at the phone in his hands.

“That’s a definite no,” Jensen said.

“Oh, is she there?” Misha asked. “Hey Danneel!” he called.

Jensen looked at his wife. “He says ‘hey’.”

“Tell him ‘hey’ back,” she said. “And to go to bed.”

“She says you need to get back in bed,” Jensen said.

“Oh my god, are you both my parents,” Misha groaned.

“You. Are. Meant. To. Be. Resting.” Jensen repeated.

“I’m sitting down!” Misha said. He paused. “Oh shit.”

“Now what?”

“Vicki’s home.” He heard the sound of the phone being fumbled. “Hi honey.”

“What are you doing?” Vicki said on the other end.

“Nothing,” Misha said innocently.

“Have you got your phone?”

“…no?”

There was the sound of more fumbling, Jensen throwing Danneel a grin. “Vicki just got home.”

“He’s in for it,” Danneel laughed.

The fumbling stopped, Vicki’s voice coming over the line. “Jensen?”

“Hi Vicki,” Jensen said with a smile. “You’re going to have to spank him.”

“Yes I am,” she said. “What’s he been doing?”

“Begging for phone sex,” Jensen said. “And getting very emotional over Dean and Cas getting married online.”

“ _Still_?” She said. “I’m sorry he bothered you. I tried to prevent this.”

“He apparently knows all your hiding places,” Jensen said.

“Apparently so.”

Jensen smiled. “Dee and I give you our sympathies.”

“Thank you. He’s been a monster,” Vicki said. “He was crying over Days of Our Lives earlier. He couldn’t even remember what was happening on the show.”

“I don’t think anybody does, including the actors,” Jensen said. “How much longer is he on the meds for?”

“A couple more days,” Vicki said. “If I can last that long without strangling him.”

“That bad, huh?”

“You have no idea,” she sighed heavily. “The kids think it’s great.”

“I bet he’s saying ‘yes’ to a lot of things,” Jensen said.

“Yes he is. And they keep trying to make him cry,” Vicki said. “And they’re succeeding way too easily.”

“I wonder how much he will remember?” Jensen said.

“Trust me – I won’t let him forget.” The phone fumbled again, Jensen hearing Vicki give a hard “No!”

“But Vicki!” Misha whined.

“I’ll let you get back to your day,” Vicki said. “My love to you and Dee.”

“We love you too,” Jensen said. “Keep him in line.”

“Will do.”

She hung up, Jensen ending the call on his end. He finally allowed himself to laugh as he slid his phone back into his pocket. Danneel grinned.

“She’s going to need a better hiding spot,” Danneel said.

“She’s going to need a better husband,” Jensen said. “Wow.”

“He was really high, huh?”

“Incredibly.” Jensen shook his head again, running a hand over his face. “I’m kind of glad we’re not there.”

“He sounds like he’d be very cuddly,” Danneel pointed out.

“Clingy,” Jensen corrected. “We’d never get anything done.”

” _You_ would never get anything done,” Danneel said. “He’d be all over you like a rash.”

“So like normal then,” Jensen said with a smile.

She smiled back, settling back into her seat. Jensen winked at her and settled back into his. He had a feeling that wouldn’t be the last he heard from Misha this week. The apology was going to be epic.

**END**


End file.
